Communication

Words are powerful. It can make or break a situation or an association. Words of endearment can clinch a connection. A level tone in a business meeting may close a transaction. When there are words of hesitation, it is sure that the discussion could be long. Statements of anger may forever break a friendship and even hasten a separation.

I hate it though when things you have said are misconstrued. Or what you wanted to put across are not the ones that were transmitted. When the ideas that you relayed were meant to make people think and to find a solution. Instead, what was transmitted was judgment. What you shared was misrepresented.

It is also hard to hear how words can be employed to switch meaning. The initial concept was totally overturned. When what was applicable was for a particular case and it was generalized.

Like a moth that got singed by a candlelight, I am becoming wary of talking to people. It is making me more afraid of opening my thoughts and my opinions. Sharing is making yourself vulnerable to misconceptions.

I hope this won’t last long. I know I have to accept that life can hurt. As Rocky Balboa said, it is the standing up again that matters. I have to for I know that it is also my loss when I stop communicating.

Rain

I used to associate rain with trials. It often brings traffic. And makes going home difficult. Not only does it wet the lapels of your pants, it can force you to stay under whatever shelter is available. It puts you into contact with people whose only similarity with you is that they were also caught by the sudden downpour.

But for the past few days, many were praying for the rain to come. Waters in our dams are in critical levels. One hydraulic power generator shut down. Several creeks had dried up. Farmers are bemoaning the drought that is rubbing them of their crops. And thus, many have prayed.

Beyond this very real situation, I have been changing my view of rain. I welcome the coolness it brings. I enjoy the sound it makes as it falls down on asphalt. I like it best when it maintains a constant strength and volume, without thunders or lightnings. Just the plain beauty of falling rain.

It is my dream to one day dance under the rain. To abandon myself to the feeling of getting wet and then hearing its music when it falls on the earth.

Dual birthdays

Hmmm. Just another day. Except I get greetings and gifts. Sometimes surprise dinners and lunch treats. Yes, I still go to work. I go through the motions of taking calls and trying to do work but most of the time I get to do nothing.

Not having enough resources, my family never really celebrated birthdays and other special events. I don’t think I ever missed having a party. Only because not one amongst us members had one. So it was fair and square for all of us. As we often say, what you don’t know won’t hurt you.

It was only later on that I have come to realize that I lacked something. Or did I really? I became conscious of the difference when I attended the 18th birthday of my college classmate. Otherwise I wouldn’t have known. I might have guessed that it was just a regular goings-on.

I have come to accept the situation. For the principle of my parents is true. Why spend so much on birthday celebrations when you can use the money for one year’s tuition fee? I am a product of this. I was able to finish school. The children of my father’s colleagues weren’t so lucky. They chose instead to be frivolous for a day and leave unfinished the schooling of their kids.

Until now, many years later, we still don’t celebrate birthdays that much. I have learned to spend it out with friends and colleagues.

I view birthdays cynically. You just get a year older. You get greetings. You get gifts. Most often than not, I try to review the past year ( I also try to do this every new year). But then it is over and then it is the next day. Just like any other regular day.

Maybe it is not a good way to celebrate your birthday. But then, that is how it is.

Today, this blog has just been born.